Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
The power of my boobs compel you
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
