i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
