im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize