what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
