Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
