This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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