After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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