My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
