I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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