problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
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