i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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