I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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