hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
