It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
