Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
