Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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