"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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