i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
