Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
My bed smells like the plague
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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