You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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