he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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