shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
