is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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