I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Randomize
