i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
