so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
