This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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