Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
