It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
