butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize