24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
