I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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