We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
