Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
