Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Randomize