And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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