There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
