I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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