Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize