wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
