i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
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