That reminds me...we need to get swords
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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