At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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