I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
