We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
