I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
