A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
