This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I will pee on everything he values.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
