You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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