Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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