ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
where am i from again
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
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