Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
