Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
