Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
