You really coming over, don't trick.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
