I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
