first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
