Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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