oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
