just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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