No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize