And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
