Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
