Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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