yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
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