So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I am spending my child support on dildos
how do flat chested girls get laid?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
