how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
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