i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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