I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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