so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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